Other than the quintessential beigli, Hungarian Christmas baking is basic and not an elaborate production. I could take it or leave it for the most part. Though I used to like the Gerbeaud and the linzer cookies with whole nuts pressed in the middle. Grandma was stingy with the nuts, so those never made it past the first day. She tended to make what she liked and her plain linzer just didn't do it for me. She also made huge trays of Mézes, but don't look for it on my blog, I didn't like them. She insisted I taste it every year, but it never grew on me. Maybe I will surprise myself and bake a tray one day.Christmas can mean a lot of different things to different people. The one thing I couldn't let go for years was having a large gathering of extended family for our Christmas Eve. In my younger years our extended family would gather at my great uncle’s apartment. We were stuck in the kitchen and in the front hall, waiting for the preparations to conclude in the main room. Then the bell would ring and we all piled into the room. There was the long table set with fine china and at the end of it was the Christmas tree with presents for the children. There was a lot of laughter and love in that room. My great uncle put on my favorite record. Later he took out the table bowling game.
We stayed long and at dawn we took a taxi home.
Years went by quickly and the extended family grew out of my great uncle’s apartment. Each family began to celebrate Christmas on their own. Loneliness descended on the Christmases that followed. Even though we had more than enough people in our family, I missed the fun we used to have with the cousins, aunts and uncles. It took several Christmas Eves before I adjusted to the change.
When I immigrated to Canada Christmas loneliness descended on me with vengeance. My children were already teenagers when Christmas no longer held power over me with secret longing. But I am an old lady now and I am grateful for every day my love and I have left together. Special days are beginning to loose their significance. Every day is a good day now. But as far as Christmas memories go, the best ones remain to be ones I spent as a child with my extended family.
